As I write this, I’m watching the Arizona Cardinals defense play a stellar game against the 49ers early, while the Cards’ offense had a total of -8 yards in the first quarter. It’s good to know that Kentucky’s offensive woes aren’t a rare condition. On the other hand, both my favorite teams are really hard to watch sometimes.
So we’ve come down to the last week of the season. The bowl hopes are gone, the offense has been uber-stagnant the last couple games, and a giant orange monkey with a block “T” on its chest is coming to town this week to resume its place on Kentucky’s back, and presumably to poop in its hand and throw it at UK as well. Not that I can blame the monkey; it’s easy to sling poop at this team. Hell, I’ve being doing it since the season started.
I’ve actually lost count of how long the streak is now. 25, 26 games? At this point, it really doesn’t matter. Kentucky is long overdue for a win, but the last few years have seen the team beat themselves, rather than Tennessee outplaying them. And of course, we can’t forget last year’s punt from inside the Tennessee 40. It was at that point that I began to get over Joker Phillips.
Tennessee sucks this year, almost as bad as Kentucky does, but they are still Tennessee, and they are playing for a bowl berth. Tyler Bray may or may not play next weekend, and if he does, he may or may not be rustier than a 1972 Ford Pinto. Either way, it won’t take much to outplay the UK offense.
So what should we expect? It will go one of two ways: either UK plays without any pressure and finally beats Tennessee, or the team continues a trend of flat, uninspired play on offense and loses yet again. Either way, the defense is bringing a big stick to the game, and they are gonna hit some guys with it.
I can see this being a one possession game either way, it’s just a matter of which team comes up short. Both squads have been snakebitten this year; it’s fitting that they close against one another.
Here’s a stunning fact: the winner of this game gets its second SEC win of the year. You’d have to go all the way back to 1977 to find a worse conference record in Knoxville. It gets said every year, but this year it’s the truth: Tennessee will never be more beatable than they are right now.
The problem is, Kentucky’s offense may never be worse than it is right now. If Mike Hartline is under center, or if Randall Cobb is still in uniform, I’d feel really good, especially with the way the defense is playing. But both those guys are gone, and this one has the potential to be fugly.
I can actually see the defense scoring some points in this one. Danny Trevathan has had a monster year, and I’d love to see him get a pick-6 or a fumble return in this one. This defense deserves a win, because the offense has spent the last 3 months pissing on the D’s good intentions.
Potential game scenarios aside, what happens with Joker? If Kentucky wins this one, is he safe for another season? If Kentucky loses, does he get let go? Is he really not feeling any pressure, as he said earlier today? Even though he absolutely should be, it is in his team’s best interests if he is loose this week. A “nothing to lose” mentality is the best thing Kentucky can have right now.
So what happens?
I’m going to say UK wins by 6. The defense will be amped up for Senior Day, the team won’t have anything on the line, and Joker may very well be coaching for his job. If there was ever a time to leave it all on the field, this is it. Actually, the Vanderbilt game was the time to leave it all on the field, but that ship has sailed.
There won’t be many yards of offense for either side, but Trevathan will make a difference. If he doesn’t get a score and a win, I’ll be upset.
So how’s it gonna be? Can Joker keep his job with a win?
