Since we at Nation of Blue are starting to get some criticism for being so negative all the time about the UK offensive woes, I think today’s post will have more pep and happiness to it. So, real quick-like, here are a few things to be happy about regarding yesterday’s game. After all, we are nothing if not blindly faithful fans, pledging our allegiance regardless of how badly a team plays. In fact, we hope the team continues to play like crap, just so we have an excuse to show off our pride and fanhood. We no longer care about wins, do you hear us? From now on, the team better not even get a first down! Why, someone might accuse us of being fair-weather fans if we root for a team that gets first downs! Anyway, before I get too sidetracked, we can be happy about…
The fact that Ryan Tydlacka made it another week without punching anyone on the offense. It’s great to see a young man have such an upbeat attitude, when it almost looks like Joker & Friends are trying to get him to wear his knee out. But we know better, because we are awesome fans! In fact, we applaud Joker for his playcalling, since he is obviously working in Tydlacka’s best interests by sacrificing yards, points, and wins, just so everyone can see how great a punter Tydlacka is. Kudos, Joker!
We should also be happy about the fact that Rick Minter hasn’t spontaneously combusted yet. His defense has been on the field for approximately 376 plays* the last two games (*may not be accurate), and they have held up. The downside is, those two games have been against powerhouses, so they got scored on a lot. However, since we are such great fans, we say poo-poo, Mr. Minter! If you were really worried about being a team player, you would tell your defense to quit hogging all the plays. Since 3-and-outs are asking a lot sometimes, you just need to let the other team score quicker! That way, the offense gets a chance as well. In fact, us wonderful fans blame you, Rick Minter, for the offensive woes! Wait, did we say offensive woes? Nonsense! There are no offensive woes whatsoever! Only a bad fan would say that! Hahahaha!
Or maybe we should be happy about the touchdown we scored yesterday. In fact, I’m appalled us superfans haven’t mentioned this yet! The last time UK played at LSU, they didn’t even score! And that team not only went to a bowl game, they won it! That alone shows us that this year’s team is better than a team that won the Music City Bowl. So everyone can quit being so negative now.
I’m sure there are some other things to be happy about as well, but I’m just so gosh-darned overcome with happiness right now that I can’t even think about them. Obviously, we have a great team, and there is nothing whatsoever to get down about. So from now on, it’s only kind words, hugs, and cupcakes around here. No more Gloomy Gusses, nosiree. We also promise to brush our teeth before bed and say our prayers. In fact, I have to go now, because there is an old lady trying to cross her driveway, and I need to help her before some unspeakable horror befalls her.
If anyone needs me, I’ll be busy crocheting playbook cozies for Joker to use next week. Need to keep that page of draws and screens warm; otherwise we’d just look silly running them all the time!
Toodle-oo, my fantastic, fabulous fellow football fans!
[I][B]Follow @chris_minton on Twitter for a little UK talk, and lots of random thoughts and crude words.[/B][/I]
