Spencer Hall at EDSBS.com invented it. Other blogs at SBNation.com spread it. Now you’ve got it and Tamiflu ain’t gonna fix it. SEC Basketball Fever is when SEC basketball teams fail at basketball so hard it makes all of us sickly laugh. This (hopefully reoccurring) series will document which teams are the most contagious with the fever. You can spread this wonderful disease on Twitter by using #SECBasketballFever.
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Teams with projected strong constitutions got weak in the knees and puked up a few surprising losses. The most contagious patients from the past week suffered greatly with two losses; others were able to contain the pain to one loss. Which teams will hold it down for the rest of the season, and which ones will keep spraying chunks?
Fully Contagious & Should Be Quarantined
Arkansas – 13-4 Overall, 2-2 SEC
Last Week’s Symptoms: Missed 3 free throws to lose at Tennessee, set aflame at home by Ole Miss’ shooting percentage.
Prognosis: Unfortunate 3-pointer & free-throw luck compounded by a team that gets itself too far behind. Should be better next week if they stop turning the ball over and actually get 3 refs to work the game.
Alabama – 12-5 Overall, 2-2 SEC
Last Week’s Symptoms: Gave it up at the Gamecocks, overwhelmed at home by Kentucky’s Johnson.
Prognosis: A hard week ahead with a trip to Arkansas and hosting Bruce Pearl’s rising Tigers just two days later. Puke Bama Puke.
Mizzou – 7-10 Overall, 1-3 SEC
Last Week’s Symptoms: Suffocated at Kentucky, faded at home to Tennessee.
Prognosis: The planned St. Louis Cardinals players appearance on Saturday was the main reason why Mizzou’s home attendance topped more than 8,000. The Tigers may be reach death next week, become undead zombie Tigers week after next.
Apply pressure to these nerves in your neck to stop feeling the sadness.
Vandy – 11-6 Overall, 1-3 SEC
Last Week’s Symptoms: Drowned at home by Georgia 3-pointers, wilted under pressure at Mississippi State.
Prognosis: This young team is still growing roots in conference play. Next week, Kentucky may yank them right out.
Should Alternate Tylenol & Ibuprofen
Florida – 10-7 Overall, 3-1 SEC – Also a victim of the Georgia 3-point barrage after beating Auburn two nights prior. Gators are still filling their roster with warm bodies. They should probably practice dunking a bit more (h/t SBNation):
South Carolina – 10-6 Overall, 1-3 SEC – Got out-muscled at Auburn (just 9 second-chance points) after strong-arming Alabama (with 21 second-chance points). Has a visit at Tennessee before hosting the Blue1N1 virus; expect pneumonia-like complications that cannot be cured with repeated applications of Sandstorm.
LSU – 13-4 Overall, 2-2 SEC – Got Aggied late at home after forcing a bad Moody at Ole Miss. LSU’s talent and size will keep them from going under completely.
Mississippi State – 8-9 Overall, 1-3 SEC – Shocked Vandy at home after nearly shocking Texas A&M at College Station. Bulldogs are currently in the “I feel happy! I feel happy!” stage of conference play.
But! But… but… but-but-but BRUCE PEARL!
Auburn – 10-7 Overall, 2-2 SEC – Blasted at Florida by 20 points before motorin’ through South Carolina at home. Cinmeon Bowers’ constant flow of double-doubles (11 total this season) are wasted in his team’s sloppy play and losses.
Ole Miss – 10-7 Overall, 2-2 SEC – Shot great at Arkansas, not as great at home versus LSU. Andy Kennedy’s street address is the number 4 because he lives by the 3 GET IT THOSE NUMBERS ARE SEQUENTIAL THAT’S QUALITY NATION O’ BLUE HUMOR THAT YOU’VE COME TO EXPECT AT THIS HERE WEBERNET NO YOU CAN’T FIRE ME.
Bought All The Airborne At The Pharmacy
Kentucky – 17-0 Overall, 4-0 SEC
Georgia – 11-5 Overall, 2-2 SEC – Despite losing 4 players to injury, Georgia gutted out two huge wins versus Florida and Vandy by making a total of 17 three-pointers. Addition from subtraction makes Mark Fox the accountant of your nightmares.
Tennessee – 11-5 Overall, 3-1 SEC – The Vols pulled away at Mizzou after nearly letting Arkansas come back in Knoxville. Sneaky-good defense is propelling the Vols to the front of the conference.
Texas A&M – 11-5 Overall, 2-2 SEC – Comeback Ags grab victory away at LSU and held on to a late lead at home against Mississippi State. Hangovers you get from taking the #1 team in the nation to overtime only last 4 hours in College Station by school decree.
