Folks, color me shocked. I had no idea we were this close to the end of days.
I’m not trying to get all apocalyptic/Book of Revelation on you, but it seems that Jesus Himself is among us. And by Jesus, I mean Thomas Robinson.
Robinson was at it again this week, when he gave his two cents after hearing of the other, more official Jesus (Anthony Davis) wearing a shirt that said “Check My Stats”. Robinson chimed in with [URL=”http://www.nationofblue.com/thomas-robinson-says-his-stats-better-11463/”]”if you check my stats I’d be the number one pick.”[/URL]
Well, Doubting Thomas, if my aunt had a wee-wee she’d be my uncle.
Now, you can’t really fault him for his delusions. I’m a big fan of players who believe in themselves. And who knows, maybe he gets that he won’t be the top pick, but is simply trying to create conversation in the days leading up to the NBA Draft. (Remember, back in May, Robinson said he was [URL=”http://www.nationofblue.com/thomas-robinson-confident-delusional-11288/”]worthy of the number one pick[/URL]. Which, in fairness, he probably would be any other year. But not in a draft with Anthony Davis.)
But c’mon, guy. That ain’t happening. You don’t win every individual award in the NCAA, lead a team to the title, become a main topic of conversation for the duration of the season, have an impressive all-around game, grow to be nearly 7 feet tall, set single season records in blocks, and dominate games without scoring and NOT be the number one overall pick.
But in the spirit of it all, here’s a quick list of other things Thomas Robinson is better than:
1. Anthony Davis. Because if you can’t beat out a freakishly athletic nearly-seven footer with a huge wingspan, catlike reflexes, a point guard mentality, outstanding defensive instincts and a silky smooth jumper who swept the individual awards this past season, who can you beat out?
2. Tim Tebow. If Thomas Robinson were a quarterback, his team wouldn’t sign Peyton Manning (who Thomas Robinson totally would’ve been drafted above).
3. Chuck Norris. Thomas Robinson thinks he could’ve done a much better job in [I]Walker, Texas Ranger[/I].
4. Sliced bread. Thomas Robinson stays fresh longer, and is much better with peanut butter and jelly.
5. The Candyman. Not the freaky horror-story Candyman, but the one Sammy Davis, Jr. sang about years ago; the one who “makes everything he bakes satisfying and delicious”.
6. Thomas Robinson. Yes, Thomas Robinson is better than Thomas Robinson. Don’t question it.
7. The other Thomas Robinson. The tall athletic Thomas Robinson is better than the short, white, young actor Thomas Robinson. This one is probably true.
8. This list. If Thomas Robinson were making this list, #6 would’ve been at the top. Because, you know, he’s number one overall.
Have a great weekend.
