The University of Kentucky football Wildcats are in a bit of a rebuilding phase this year. At least on the offensive side of the ball, since they are losing QB Mike Hartline, RB Derrick Locke and all-around badass Randall “F” Cobb. On the defensive side, UK returns 7 playmakers including the one other teams “Dread”, Danny “double digit tackles” Trevathan. So how will the football Cats fare? Let’s look at the bums on the schedule to find out.
I predict that UK will start the season with a perfect 3-0 start. By the time Western Kentucky removes the newly designed blue Nike shoe from their rectums, Kentucky will be celebrating a win over the chump-awas of Central Michigan. Then UK plays Louisville, who has been
called “one shell of a Division 1 team”. Louisville, according to Phil Steele, is the 2nd least experienced team in the NATION. Maybe THIS is the bridge year Pitino was talking about.
Sadly, UK goes on a 3 game losing streak after the colossal destruction of Louisville’s team, pride and spirit. Kentucky plays Florida at home and they are rebuilding with a new coach, alas it is Florida and they will win by no less than 49 points. Moving on to Baton Rouge and Columbia, the Cats will struggle to score and stop the run. But fans shouldn’t lose complete hope, since the Wildcats will be 3-3 at this point. Plenty of season left.
These next 3 games will determine if this season will be great or like all the others. While it may be a close game, I do expect UK to pull it out (ahem) against Jacksonville State. The biggest tests that Kentucky must pass are the Mississippi schools. Mississippi State had a 9-4 record last year and are returning 14 starters on both sides of the ball. Ole Miss is as bad a team that Kentucky will play this year and they should exact revenge on the Rebels that haven’t quite decided what they’re rebelling against. Forget trying to win 2 out of those 3, UK MUST win all 3 at home. If not the season is likely lost. Unless something crazy happens with the remaining 3 games.
If there is a more annoying team than Vandy then that means the XFL has resurrected. Playing at Vandy is always fun, as it’s an extra home game for the Cats. I always laugh my head off when I hear “Go big blue” loudly resounding over the Nashville faithful’s barely audible “boos”. UK then travels to Athens for its yearly butt-kicking. At this point the Cats will be 7-4
The last game is Tennessee…at home. I would like to tell you that UK will beat on Tennessee like a UT player will beat on his future wife. However 20+ consecutive losses have taught me to stick with history. Until the Cats break the streak, I can’t in good conscience pick my boys to finish the regular season with a win. So here we are at 7-5 and hopefully get to play in the Music City “Super” Bowl. Hurry up and get here, Football.
