Spencer Hall at EDSBS.com invented it. On Twitter, @valleyshook germinated it. Other blogs at SBNation.com spread it. Now you’ve got it and Tamiflu ain’t gonna fix it. SEC Basketball Fever is when SEC basketball teams fail at basketball so hard it makes all of us sickly laugh. This (hopefully reoccurring) series will document which teams are the most contagious with the fever. Propagate this wonderful disease on Twitter by using #SECBasketballFever.
Last week the SEC began to take shape. Light separated from the darkness and rose to shine brightly in the sky of national college basketball. Those left down below weeped and gnashed their teeth, full of angst and despair. They were being left behind, longing to feel numb but caught in the throes of SEC Basketball Fever. Which teams came to know sadness this weekend, and which ascended?
Cut Our Lives Into Pieces
Florida – 10-9 Overall, 3-3 SEC – The Gators were first torn up inside at home by LSU. Then Florida allowed Ole Miss to crawl over them despite the Gators shooting 12-20 from 3-point range. Billy Donovan’s team has lost 3 straight in conference play, and despite his vampiric heritage he is not used to staying in the shadows of woe. This week’s tumble into the abyss has likely eliminated Florida from NCAA Tournament consideration, leaving Gator fans time to watch the sands of time painfully spill out for the rest of the season.
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Vandy – 11-8 Overall, 1-5 SEC – Oh! Had a LaChance at Kentucky but just couldn’t hold on. Oh oh! Took LSU to overtime at home on Saturday but… just couldn’t hold on. The talent and inexperience of the Commodores is undeniable. They’ll learn how to hold on eventually… and end this consecutive losing streak currently sitting at OH! and 5.
Auburn – 10-9 Overall, 2-4 SEC – Early in the week, the Tigers were suffocated at home by Mississippi State. Playing at rival Alabama on Saturday, victory was snuffed out again by when the Crimson Tide’s Rodney Cooper scored a putback in the final seconds. Bruce Pearl, his collection of Transfer Avengers and the Auburn fans are discovering that a fallen program doesn’t resurrect itself overnight. Instead, this season will be a sweet sacrifice for better years ahead.
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Mizzou – 7-12 Overall, 1-5 SEC – These Tigers made 3-pointers in the first half at Texas A&M , but not enough in the second half for a win. Then on Saturday, Mizzou didn’t make enough free throws (specifically, the last two) to beat Arkansas in Columbia. Missouri’s native son Kim Anderson is currently feeling the effects of being the new kid in school; whatever he does isn’t good enough and he ends up dumped into a trash can.
Good news. The worst part of #SECBasketballFever is no longer the basketball. It's the ads for http://t.co/0BxbJCjCva.
— Doug Keegan (@doug_keegan) January 24, 2015
South Carolina – 10-8 Overall, 1-5 SEC – LOOK I DON’T CARE IF WE LOST TO KENTUCKY AND TENNESSEE AT HOME THIS WEEK I AM GOING TO WEAR COWBOY BOOTS AND SCREAM AT MY TEAM BECAUSE I USE ANGER TO SUPPRESS MY FEAR OF FAILURE.
MAYBE I JUST WANT A HUG BUT I WON’T LET YOU KNOW BECAUSE I’M A TOUGH BIG COACH!
We Hurt Ourselves Today To See If We Still Feel
Tennessee – 12-6 Overall, 4-2 SEC – Beat the Cocks early in the week but couldn’t overcome a big Texas A&M lead in Knoxville on Saturday. Tennessee’s biggest weakness — lack of interior size & post scoring — will prevent them from pulling themselves up into the tippy-top of the SEC. And if Donnie Tyndall can’t pull in the recruits needed to keep pace, the fans may volunteer to become atheists.
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Mississippi State – 9-10 Overall, 2-4 SEC – Caught the Auburn Tigers by the tail but couldn’t get their tenth win of the season against red-hot Georgia. Still not dead! Still wants to go for a walk!
Alabama – 13-6 Overall, 3-3 SEC – Got a much-needed home win against rival Auburn on Saturday. Before that, the Crimson Tide was a Bobby Portis putback away from upsetting Arkansas in Fayetteville and finally getting that STATEMENT WIN. It always seems like Alabama is takes one step forward and then trips and falls on the ground while the rest of the kids laugh.
Anthony Grant is the Charlie Brown of the SEC. #SECBasketballFever
— Fake Gimel (@fakegimel) January 23, 2015
Ole Miss – 12-7 Overall, 3-3 SEC – Marcus Thornton’s last-second steal literally stole Ole Miss’ victory in Athens. On Saturday, Ole Miss survived a Florida comeback when Jarvis Summers sank two free-throws with 3.5 seconds left. Four of the Rebel’s six conference games have been decided by 5 points or less; sadly, Ole Miss is 1-3 in those close games. The Rebels may not have enough scoring talent this year to change tough losses into close shave wins, but they work hard enough to make every game keep you on the edge of your seat.
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We Are Justified; We are Purified; We are Sanctified By Wins
Kentucky – 19-0 Overall, 6-0 SEC – That moment when you find out that a 3-loss Kansas team (that you beat by A BAZILLION POINTS) has a better RPI than your team:
Georgia – 13-5 Overall, 4-2 SEC – Stole a game from Ole Miss at home and then bombed Mississippi State from deep on Saturday. Averaging 10.7 ppg, 3.6 apg, and 4.2 REBOUNDS a game, 5′ 10″ Sophomore J. J. Frazier is giving Kentucky’s Tyler Ulis a run for the “Best Little Man In SEC” Trophy this season. Gerogia’s Head Accountant Mark Fox has been maximizing his assets by implementing a tough packed-in zone to complement the team’s hot-shooting team.
Texas A&M – 13-5 Overall, 4-2 SEC – Bullied Mizzou at home, then beat up Tennessee’s insides on Saturday. The Aggies have won 4 straight conference games and might run it to six this week against the Auburn Transfer Tigers and the Vanderbilt Almost-adores. A&M’s Alex Caruso leads the SEC with 5.3 assists per game, which proves that sharing keeps the sadness from building up inside.
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LSU – 15-4 Overall, 4-2 SEC – Overpowered Florida in Gainesville and then survived an overtime period against the Almost-adores. LSU Coach Johnny Jones is proving that you can bring great talent to the SEC and succeed, though some openly wonder how he got his influence…
#SECBasketballFever pic.twitter.com/uLo3uMJKr6
— Pod KATT (@valleyshook) January 26, 2015
Arkansas – 15-4 Overall, 4-2 SEC – The Razorbacks barely survived last week by the hairs of their chiny-chin-chin! They needed two missed Mizzou free throws to escape victoriously in Columbia. Before that, Bobby Portis’ putback in at the end of overtime was the push Arkansas needed to defeat Alabama. Of course, Arkansas wouldn’t have had gone to overtime if Alabama’s Michael Kessens wasn’t fouled right under the basket with 2.3 second left in regulation, allowing Alabama to tie the game on a 3-point play. With that braindead foul, Arkansas wins the first SEC BASKETBALL FEVER PLAY OF THE WEEK award of the season!
#sasnakra is a delightful hashtag
Honorable mention to the SEC BASKETBALL FEVER PLAY OF THE WEEK award:
#SECBasketballFever RT @gothlaw: I have been kicked out of FOUR sections in Coleman tonight. That has to be a record.
— Jimmy Gards (@jimmygards) January 25, 2015
