Since the football team is off this weekend, and Mack pretty much covered the Mitch Barnhart idiocy, I have nothing of purpose to write this week. Instead, consider this a collection of badly scattered thoughts I’m too brain-dead to develop into an article of their own.
So, did you guys catch Big Blue Madness last night? Of course you did. The only way a Kentucky fan is going to miss watching BBM is if Grandmama had to be hospitalized after she overdosed on Vicodin again, and even then, we will do everything in our power to put her in a hospital room with a good TV signal. We’re UK fans, it’s what we do. Besides, if Grandmama hadn’t thrown her back out stripping at that bachelor party, she wouldn’t have needed the Vicodin in the first place. Serves her right.
[I][SIZE=1]I have no idea what this is about.[/SIZE][/I]
Confession: I actually prefer the Blue/White game over BBM, if for no other reason than it gives us a truer look at what kind of team Kentucky has in a given year. Besides that, it’s a much easier ticket to get. Although, BBM serves as the ceremonial ribbon-cutting for the year, and officially ushers in the hype.
I predict that next year, Matthew Mitchell will do Will Ferrell’s ribbon dance from [I]Old School[/I], also to the tune of “Chariots of Fire.”
[I][SIZE=1]Danny Travathan does this same routine to stay loose in the offseaon.[/SIZE][/I]
After hearing Coach Cal’s speech last night, he would’ve been better off just walking over to the benches and saying "Shabazz, Dejuan, Archie, Alex, Willie, twins, you guys listen to me." And then giving the exact same speech. At least that would’ve saved the poor grip on the stage from getting barked at for not having the teleprompter 7/128ths to the left. Geez, kid, can’t you do anything right?
I’m near the point of rooting for Jacksonville State next weekend, just to see Joker’s and Mitch’s reactions. Also, if the weather is anywhere near nice, I’ll be surprised to see 30,000 people there. JSU is ranked fairly high in the FCS, and they have former Georgia stud Washaun Ealey playing for them. We have Matt Roark.
My fiancee went to a Halloween party last night, and a fight broke out. Is there anything more fun than a fight at a Halloween party? Instead of Amy beating up Jessica, it was a slutty nun beating up a slutty Cleopatra, with Snooki and a slutty Mario Brother separating them. If you tried to explain that to someone any other time of year, you would get some funny looks. Presumably the same looks Mitch Barnhart gets when he tells his wife that he is absolutely going to ravage her body, because he’s stubborn, and he’s going to ride this thing for the long haul and make it work. Not sure where the microwave comes in here, unless it has something to do with syrup. Good luck getting that image out of your head.
[I][SIZE=1]I also have no idea what this is about. Not the picture, but Snooki in general.[/SIZE][/I]
As I’m writing this, Ohio State’s quarterback has thrown for 17 yards, with less than 2 minutes to go in the game. But, he has a touchdown, the team has no turnovers, and they are actually winning. Big difference there.
[I][SIZE=1]Today’s win might actually stick.[/SIZE][/I]
Still, that’s good news for Joker & Company. He can say that even perennial top 25 teams have a bad offensive game on occasion, which is absolutely true. However, if Kentucky had merely a “bad” offensive game, a lot of fans would be a little happier. On the “Stick Your Finger In Your Butt With Both Hands” scale, the Kentucky offense is somewhere between Stephen Hawking and the drummer for Def Leppard. I blame the fans.
[I][SIZE=1]In case you couldn’t make the connection.[/SIZE][/I]
I guess that’s all I’ve got for today. I’m sorry this article is as scattered as the amount of football wins in Kentucky’s future, but I spent a couple days in Indiana this week, around several Indianans, and at this point, I’m surprised I was able to turn the computer on in the first place. See you tomorrow.
[I][B]Follow @chris_minton on Twitter for a little UK talk, and lots of random thoughts and crude words.[/B][/I]
