[I][SIZE=1]Rejected slogan: "We’re not as boring as Nebraska"[/SIZE][/I]
Happy Saturday! How has your week been? Mine sucked. I haven’t slept much, I’ve not been on the computer since Monday, and I don’t know what anything is anymore. Apparently there is a new site called "Texts From Last Night" that all the kids are talking about. I also heard mention of a thing called an "iPad", which sounds OK, but I’m not much into menstruation, so I’m not sure what I’d ever do with one.
"But, Chris!" I can hear you say in between taking a bite of bagel and a drink of Bailey’s, "iPads have been around for a while. And they are really cool. Just like Indiana basketball."
This is where I tell you to put down the Bailey’s and call a support group, because you are obviously a drunk. I’ve not been gone [I]that[/I] long. Last I heard, Indiana basketball was like my grandfather: awesome back in the day, but now it can’t do much, and pisses on itself a lot.
But then, a quick look at the stats shows the Hoosiers to be 8-0 (just like Kentucky), 6th in FG%, 7th in PPG, and 163rd in RPG (Kentucky is 4th). They also have an RPI of 60, while UK is currently 7th.
Can Indiana really be that good? Well, they have a Zeller on the team, so they are at least that white. But that good? Tom [STRIKE]Arnold[/STRIKE] Crean has had this group on the verge of "being back" since the Clinton administration, and perhaps we are finally seeing the fruits of his labor. And if they win today, they would have to be considered a top 25 squad. But if they lose, they have to be careful that the wheels don’t fall off, with Notre Dame, a trip to East Lansing, and two games against top 20 schools coming up in the next couple weeks.
I think this is the year that Crean either makes it or breaks it. The fanbase, as far as I can tell, has been fairly patient with him, but if he flames out after a hot start, the Bloomingtonians could get restless. Well, as restless as a pasty white Midwesterner can get in between shucking corn and listening to "Lonely Ol’ Night" on vinyl. Also, farming.
[I][SIZE=1]Among other stereotypes.[/SIZE][/I]
Truth is, I think Indiana can be a solid team this year. But they are playing #1 today. Stetson, Savannah State, and the Susan Kay Morningweather Finishing School for Clubfooted Orphan Girls are in the rearview mirror. So what should we expect?
Look for the Hoosiers to come out and punch the Cats in the mouth. Or hit them like a sissy, or whatever it is they do. Still, they’re gonna come out swinging. This is the biggest game of the Tom Crean era to date, and it’s at home, and it happens to be Kentucky’s first true road game. Assembly Hall will be absolutely rocking, and there will lots of fatheads in the crowd. There will also be huge cartoonish heads on sticks.
If Kentucky can withstand the initial IU onslaught, and I think they will, they will pull away in the second half. I can see them winning by either 15 or 2, depending on whether or not Indiana buckles after Kentucky gets settled in.
Competition for today’s ridiculously hot 3-point shooter will be between Jordan Hulls, Will Sheehey, and Christian Watford. Those three are combining to shoot 30-65, for 46%. Indiana as a team is shooting 44%. Matt Roth may also have something to say. He is 5-12 on the year, and "Matt Roth" is the name of a guy born to shoot the lights out against UK. He only gets 6.5 minutes a game, but don’t be surprised if he gets about 9 or 10 points in that span.
The big name today is Cody Zeller. He leads the team in minutes, scoring (15.5), rebounding (7.5), steals (2.6), blocks (1.6), FG% (67.7), and frustrating whiteness (∞). Victor Oladipo is also averaging double figures, as are Hulls, Sheehey, and Watford. In other words, the Hoosiers are about as balanced as Kentucky is. But there is still a huge talent deficit, so Kentucky should be fine.
[I][SIZE=1]This guy will be easy to hate.[/SIZE][/I]
Look for rebounding to play a big part in this one. Indiana is shooting 52% on the season, so eliminating second chance points is a must. Kentucky is averaging 8 boards a game better than the Hoosiers, so I think they can manage.
In summary: IU starts hot, UK recovers, rebounding matters, and Cody Zeller is a turd.
[I][SIZE=1]And he apparently enjoys elbowing black guys.[/SIZE][/I]
Cats by 8.
