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This is a post that I originally put on my old blog last year in April, after Bob Knight ran his yap about the UK starting five not going to class in the spring of 2010, a claim which we all is hogwash. Just like clockwork, Bob Knight has once again disparaged Kentucky by blatantly refusing to mention them. When asked on Mike & Mike this morning about his top 5 teams and players, he mentioned neither Kentucky nor Anthony Davis, further proving how petty and stubborn he is. Since he is once again making waves for being a jerk, I figured I'd blow the dust off this post.The version you are about to read has been somewhat censored, since this is a family website. If you would like to read the uncensored version, click here.

KNIGHT TIME ISN'T THE RIGHT TIME



I thought I knew how to approach this. When I first heard of Bobby Knight's allegations regarding the entire 2010 UK starting five not attending school the second semester that year, I laughed a bit at the absurdity of it. Then I thought about it, which got me aggravated at what an egregious butthole he is. Next thing I knew, Matt Jones tweeted that it is the goal of Kentucky Sports Radio to force an apology from ESPN on Knight’s behalf. Then I wondered, if KSR was focusing on Bob Knight, who would tend to the children and young adults that aren’t reading? That’s when blog ideas started churning through my head.

Initially, I thought there is no reason to force an ESPN apology regarding Bob Knight. For starters, the comments weren’t even made on ESPN, they were made at a speech in Indiana. Secondly, everyone knows Bob Knight is a jerk on a good day. My thought process was this: Bob Knight is not senile; he knows what he says. The question is, who heard him say it? If a UK fan heard it, they know it isn’t true, and just another example of “haters hating”. If a non-UK fan heard it, that means one of two things: either they are impartial to UK and don’t care about the remarks, but perhaps frown on the negative happenings of college basketball, OR, they already hate UK, so it doesn’t matter whether the negative remarks were true or not. Therefore, I concluded that his words have no lasting effect either way, with the possible exception of being used against the school in recruiting battles. But then, recruiting is a slimy business anyway, and it’s hard to separate BS from lies in a recruit’s living room. So I didn’t think any more about it, other than to think that UK fans shouldn’t worry about it too much, because who cares what Bob Knight says?

But then I started thinking about it again.

And I realized who was saying it. Bob Knight. Class A, USDA-certified steaming pile of baboon poop. Thrower of chairs, kicker of shins, cusser of students in grocery aisles. As CBSSports.com columnist Gregg Doyel put it, “Bob Knight is a bad guy. Great coach. Valued education. Didn't cheat. But a bad guy.” Pretty much sums it up. It also isn’t the first time Knight has had misgivings about John Calipari-related items. Plus, he got his lunch eaten by UK for the last 10 years or so he was at Indiana. And he had his undefeated season ruined in ’75, causing him to hit Joe B. Hall in the back of the head. He has good reason not to like Kentucky. But he has never done anything so blatant as to outright slander the school.

Yes, he slandered UK.

We all know what slander is: a lie, usually spoken, with the intent of character defamation. This is opposed to libel, which is basically slander, but in a more permanent, tangible form, such as print or recorded audio. Bob Knight defamed the character of John Wall, which is bad enough. But his remarks also defamed Patrick Patterson, who gave his sweat and blood and tears to graduate in three years while being a stud on the basketball court. That’s when I started getting pissed. (Patrick Patterson didn't seem to care for it either). Being slanderous is easy. Just say this out loud: “Bob Knight molests stray animals.” Did anyone hear you? If so, you just slandered Bob Knight. Now, a libelous statement would be if I said

BOB KNIGHT MOLESTS STRAY ANIMALS.

See what I did there? That was libel, because we know he doesn’t molest stray animals (or do we?), just as we know that 100% of the 2010 starting lineup went to spring classes. Here, I’ll give you another example of libel:

BOB KNIGHT IS INSECURE ABOUT HIS MANHOOD, AND THUSLY FEELS COMPELLED TO RUN DOWN ANYONE WHO DOESN’T LIKE HIM.

Got the hang of it yet? Good. (Bear with me, I have a point in here somewhere). Now, would you like to read a non-slanderous statement?

BOB KNIGHT ONCE SHOT A FRIEND IN THE BACK, AND TRIED TO COVER IT UP. THAT'S THE KIND OF WONDERFUL RAY OF SUNSHINE HE IS.

I’ve pretty much always been of the thinking that peoples’ minds are going to be made up about something, and outside evidence won’t really affect their opinion; that is, if I think Bob Knight is a turd, his donating $50,000 to the ASPCA (not that he did, but if he does, it's probably to hide the molestation) won’t change my opinion of him. Likewise, anyone who is looking for a reason to dislike Kentucky and Calipari will latch onto the first thing they can, not letting the fact that Calipari and his team washed the feet of underprivileged children in Detroit tell them otherwise. As Jerry Seinfeld (I think; it was either him or George Carlin) once said, “You can take away all the drugs in the world, and people would spin around on their lawns until they fell down and saw God.” That applies here, since we are dealing with reality vs. perception, through the eyes of a man who obviously needs some kind of medication to even out his bitter delusions.

Still with me? Wow, I’m surprised. Now, after all that, here’s the deal: ESPN should either force an apology from Knight or send him packing, if for no other reason than it has to be a serious conflict of interest regarding the SEC TV contract for mouthy jerks such as himself to go around spewing derogatory nonsense. I’m glad Mitch Barnhart got in on the action, because that may help force the network’s hand. At best, Bob Knight is eaten up with petty jealousy, and can’t help himself trying to piss off Kentucky alumni and fans. At worst, he is a hypocrite and a coward, an old man trying to tear down one coach with nothing on his record, while building up another who is serving a suspension next season. He is a coward because, for starters, he won’t set foot in Rupp Arena, since he knows that would be the equivalent of walking into a lion's den wearing pork chop pants. And for this: someone on Twitter noted that Bob Knight has never said anything negative regarding UK unless he is in Indiana. This means he doesn’t have the enlarged guts to go with the enlarged rectum.

Here is my advice to Robert Montgomery Knight. Go away, while you are still at least somewhat relevant. Go away, and spend the remainder of your years shooting friends on hunting trips, and wondering why your eyebrows didn’t grow all the way across your eyes. You aren’t willing to say anything (truthfully) useful on TV, and apparently your speaking engagements reek of shenanigans and bullfeathers. As much as you have to offer the world, with your coaching intellect and storied past, you instead choose to continually take the low road by being a yellow-bellied coward, a hypocrite, and a skid mark on the silk underwear of life. Oh, and you are a pompous, arrogant a**hole. Have I said that yet?

Bob Knight was once lauded for getting a high percentage of his students to finish classes.It’s just too bad that class isn’t a word he knows anything about these days.

Updated February 29th, 2012 at 01:48 PM by Chris Minton

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You know the song I'm talking about. You've heard it somewhere, I'm sure. It's the Randy Travis country/gospel crossover song that came out around 8 years ago. It's about a farmer, a teacher, a hooker, and a preacher riding on a midnight bus that was bound for Mexico.

It's one of those songs that mentions God just enough to make people who like the song think they are good Christians, kind of like those damned Facebook posts that say "copy & paste this if you love Jesus." Well guess what, a**holes? I love Jesus. I don't show it at all, but I do. And I'll be darned if I forward that stupid post just to keep from feeling guilty. I'll feel guilty out of spite, thank you very much. Uhh, where was I?

Oh yeah, that song. Here are the lyrics:

A farmer and a teacher, a hooker and a preacher,
Ridin' on a midnight bus bound for Mexico.
One's headed for vacation, one for higher education,
And two of them were searchin' for lost souls.
That driver never ever saw the stop sign.
And eighteen wheelers can't stop on a dime.

CHORUS:
There are three wooden crosses on the right side of the highway,
Why there's not four of them, Heaven only knows.
I guess it's not what you take when you leave this world behind you,
It's what you leave behind you when you go.

That farmer left a harvest, a home and eighty acres,
The faith and love for growing things in his young son's heart.
And that teacher left her wisdom in the minds of lots of children:
Did her best to give 'em all a better start.
And that preacher whispered: "Can't you see the Promised Land?"
As he laid his blood-stained Bible in that hooker's hand.

CHORUS

That's the story that our preacher told last Sunday.
As he held that blood-stained bible up,
For all of us to see.
He said: "Bless the farmer, and the teacher, and the preacher"
"Who gave this Bible to my mama,
"Who read it to me."

CHORUS

Sweet story, isn't it? The strumpet survives the wreck and goes on to bear a child who would eventually become a man of the cloth. Yay, ironic justice!

I heard it on the radio today, and I got reminded of how annoying the story is. Not the overall story, it's actually quite touching. I mean the details. Mainly, what kind of egg-sucking farmer goes on vacation with a harvest due? Farmers don't tend to vacate anyway, due to the neverending nature of, you know, FARMING. And if a farmer was going on vacation, it wouldn't be to Mexico. It would be to a pumpkin farm or Niagara Falls or something stupid like that. And for that matter, why wasn't the farmer's son with him? Don't farmers pride themselves on being family men? I think he had a thing going on with the hooker. I bet she was a Mexican hooker, too. They are probably cheaper. That would explain why they were going to Mexico.

But then, something else occurred to me: what the hell happened to the BUS DRIVER?

Remember, the chorus says there are three wooden crosses, then wonders why there aren't four. This is talking about the farmer, the teacher, the hooker, and the preacher. So why does the bus driver not warrant a roadside mention? Or for that matter, the driver of the semi-truck? Why can't there be five wooden crosses? Or six?

I guess the songwriters couldn't be bothered with a verse about how the bus driver left a case of genital warts with the Burger King cashier at the last pickup stop. Or how the truck driver probably had a load consisting of four hundred cases of Coors beer. Although, if the bus was bound for Mexico, they weren't likely east of Texas, so the Coors wouldn't have been a big deal.

Maybe there were no drivers. Maybe it was like that movie Maximum Overdrive, where a bunch of unmanned semi-trucks drove in a circle around a gas station, while Emilio Estevez pumped gas until he neared the point of exhaustion.

Personally, I think the Second Coming occurred during the story, and the bus driver and truck driver were the only two worthy of going on to Heaven. The farmer, teacher, hooker, and preacher were left to suffer an eternity without conviction, and no further chance at salvation.

Because they didn't copy the Facebook status about Jesus.

Updated January 28th, 2012 at 12:17 AM by Chris Minton

Tags: facebook, jesus, randy travis, rant, religion, stupid people, three wooden crosses

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